I remember hearing a story about a father that was overwhelmed with the things that go along with having a 2 year old child. The child was guilty of nothing more than being a 2 year old which came with temper tantrums, saying no when told to do something, and at times throwing things. The father was caught up in the difficult moments so intensely that he couldn’t see the future. During one of these difficult moments, his father walked up to him and said, “It won’t stay this way. This is just a moment in time.” I was so touched when I heard this and it affected me on a deep level. It applies in all situations no matter how difficult. They’re moments. And they might feel overwhelming and they might seem unbearable, but they will pass. And when they do, we are left with the memory of how we handled those moments. Did we fight back or did we listen? Did we see the situation our own way or did we see things from a perspective more than our own? Did we hold onto the fact that it was just a moment and there was probably someone in need of us in some way? And did we respond with kindness or selfishness?
I have learned that it’s not about the moment but about the bigger picture. It’s about what I want to remember when I’m leaving this world. I want to look back and know that I was about more than me. I want to know that I gave completely to those that love me. It can be so difficult in those moments to “see” clearly. Emotions take over: insecurities, defensiveness, anger, selfishness, impatience. And that’s when we need to “zoom out” and see the bigger picture. We need to hear the other person. We need to leave ourselves behind for a moment and do what is good and right. And as difficult as that is in the moment, the feeling after is joyful. Putting yourself aside and taking care of the people you love when they are in need, whether they are right or wrong, angry at you or sad, doesn’t matter. They need you. They have their reasons. When we understand that and become nurturing to each other, we find that we are also taking care of ourselves. Because loving each other and being good to each other, is the only way to truly be happy in this crazy life. The world is full of hurt and anger and sadness. We have to have a safe place where we take care of each other; our husbands and wives, our children, our loved ones. In the end, it’s all that matters. So I challenge each of us to dedicate as much energy to this way of being and loving as we do our jobs, our hobbies, ourselves. Because in the end, it’s all that matters.